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1.15.08

After work, I hung out with Jennifer V. which was great! We chatted a lot about life, and she has a new boyfriend and is so happy! It's so good to see how excited she is about him!

I've been working on more designs which is great! I'm in the middle of a site that makes me really happy - I'm happy with the way it's turning out and the subject is happy too!

Lots of "happy" in this entry!

However, I think I'm really pushing myself too far. I'm all about setting goals and trying to do well, but I need to just slow down and realize that I can't do EVERYTHING. I'm finishing two MA's this spring. I'm working. I'm building up my own business (which all of a sudden has become like, my #1 priority. I'm in love with it.) I want to sew. I want to knit everything. I want to dance more. I want to do a show. I want to start looking for "real" jobs.

There is a lot of "I want" in my life, and I really need to think about everything and decide what is most important.

Fortunately, that answer is family and friends, and my relationships with them are great. So at least I have that under control.

But there still is this desire in me to succeed, and lately I find myself clenching my jaw, or getting random aches and feeling stressed - and it's clearly because I am pushing myself too hard. This is my "break" and I'm working full-time at the University since I'm able to without classes, designing more freelance stuff than usual, taking an online fashion design course and trying to 'relax.'

So, I think a delayed New Year's resolution should be to chill out and not get so involved. They always tell you to get involved in things...well, I want to get un-involved. Well, not really. I just want to stop taking on MORE NEW projects is really all that it is. Cause I adore everything I'm doing now.

I just don't want to burn out. (Especially since I need to write 2 thesis papers in the next 4 months!!!)

So, in the past, I never thought that the things I'm working on have been unobtainable or a lot to handle. But there is just this creepy desire within me to really succeed. And that needs to calm down. Majorly.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
ohvaness
Jan. 16th, 2008 03:55 pm (UTC)
Oh my gosh. I think I'd feel overwhelmed too if I was trying to do all that you do! Hmm... I feel positively lazy in comparison.
starlit12
Jan. 16th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
Don't feel lazy. Just categorize me as not sane.
kubsisnuts
Jan. 16th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
TWO M.A's? I thought one was tough. I admire you!
starlit12
Jan. 16th, 2008 04:44 pm (UTC)
What had happened was I applied to two grad schools - one being where I went for undergrad and starting taking some of the MA program classes before I had graduated (6 credits) Clearly I got in there, but then was shocked to see that I also got accepted to my "dream" school, the Fashion Institute of Technology. So I deferred FIT for a year and got most of the MSU (arts management) program finished in that year. MSU gave me the ability to take summer classes and what not, so I had a good portion of it done. Then, I started FIT full time (4 classes) in the fall of 2006. Took the next 4 at FIT in Spring 2007, and had one FIT class count for MSU. SUmmer of 2007 I took 1 MSU class and did my FIT internship. Fall of 2007 I did the 4 FIT and my internship (3 credits) for MSU. Now in the Spring of 2008, I have the thesis for FIT (no credits, but you get an extension - you can graduate without finishing it completely), the thesis for MSU (3 credits, has to be finished) and 4 FIT classes (which are interesting and bearable time-management wise)

So yes, two programs. But it isn't as crazy as it sounds. Or maybe it is? This was over the course of three years.


Thanks for the admiration though!!! :)
mollybelle
Jan. 16th, 2008 06:45 pm (UTC)
I am so proud of you and all you have accomplished - which is A LOT. :) You've got so much you can say "I did that" - you're amazing. :)

Just remember, there is no competition and there are no winners in the game of life. Just keep doing what you love and you'll always come out ahead. :) If your body is telling you to slow down, listen. No need to add any undue stress to an already busy schedule. Just take it one day at a time and most of all, ENJOY it all, every minute. THAT'S what is most important. Our family and your true friends will love you the same whether you have 2 MAs or 20, hehe. (now don't go and get any ideas...!)

I love you so much and am so lucky to be able to call you my sister. :)
starlit12
Jan. 17th, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
aw, you're so cute and supportive. Thanks!!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )