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1.14.08

I really thought it was going to snow overnight but it didn't. I feel CHEATED. Ugh. I could have used the day off to get even more freelance work done, and to start knitting Dave's hat! I think I have plans for this evening with a friend but I'm not even sure. Maybe they're for tomorrow? I guess I'll find out later!

I'm at work today, chugging away putting an old site in a new layout. It's a monster of a site, so it requires a lot of concentration and moving, so I'm just writing in here to get away from it for a bit.

Tonight, is Dance War or whatever it's called with the Dancing with the Stars people. My mom and I watched it together last week and it was interesting. Some of them really aren't good dancers though - and since I dance and sing, I'm super critical of who they pick.

Which reminds me...there is a show I really want to audition for and I'm debating if I should. In this show, there is one specific part that I want that shouldn't require trillions of rehearsals...but I just fear if I go for it, and get it, then I might be crazy busy for the rest of the semester. But I also feel that since I'm getting older, it may be one of the last times that I can audition for shows for fun. But, if I do get a real job and don't go to school, it would actually be easier for me to do shows...I dunno. I'm still thinking about it. I have a little bit more time to think. I'd love to do it - the last show I was in was AIDA in November of 2005 and that feels like a lifetime ago.

And call me full of myself, or super-religious - but I think there are people who are gifted, and people who are talented in certain aspects. Now, I don't think I'd go as far as to say I'm a gifted dancer, but I'm going to go with high on the talent scale... So yeh, I may be full of myself, but being graceful and flexible and strong at what I do (dance) are qualities I've taken pride in...and even though I'm a dancer, I didn't always LOVE it or LOVE DOING it, I just happened to be really good at it...and why would any kid quit something that they excelled at?



Me. Holding my leg above my head in AIDA. How can I not be proud of that - being chosen as one of three girls to be in that dance - and then given crazy choreography that I loved doing on stage each night and received compliments after each show?

It makes me want to audition for this upcoming show. Badly.

So we'll see.

And the funny thing is, I'm usually not this full of myself, and I sound so cocky now. Whatever. I just want to do another show and this is my way of justifying it to myself - that I have a talent (almost gift, haha) and I should be using it.




Justify. That's another thing. I hate when my friends or other people make some stupid decision, and then justify it to themselves with some ass-backwards way of thinking. "I'm going to do this (move across the country with boyfriend) because he loves me and will marry me (he tells me so, but is cheating on me) and I want to go to grad school across the country (cause I can't do a program here now, because I am moving with boyfriend) and his parents are rich (so I don't need to work now or get a "real" job - they'll pay for it all). Irks me.

And I then justified something in my own life. I guess I'm a hypocrite. At least I realize I'm a hypocrite and not totally making sense???



Back to re-formatting web pages!!

Comments

crysalis
Jan. 15th, 2008 02:48 am (UTC)
I agree with Ronni, Alexa. Go for it! Also, you don't sound full of yourself at all!!